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SPACE ASTEROID SHOOTER
Steam
Achievements
Leaderboard
Prices
Forum
24,474
Achievements Earned
140
Players Tracked
316
Total Achievements
1,223
Obtainable EXP
72
100% Club
All Achievements
Earned Achievements
Locked Achievements
Achievement
Rarity
Earned Date
A long time ago
...
97.86% (2.00)
in a galaxy far, far away...
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95.71% (2.00)
the evil empire of the asteroids
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92.14% (2.00)
send out their best soldiers
...
89.29% (2.00)
to find one man.
...
85.00% (3.00)
That man is me. Captain Curtain...
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84.29% (3.00)
and this is my story.
...
82.86% (3.00)
A story full of despair, love and empty space.
...
81.43% (3.00)
A story so full of story that even the most uninterested once
...
80.00% (3.00)
will have problems to not listen to it.
...
79.29% (3.00)
A story that will take your children and grandchildren
...
78.57% (3.00)
and will make them a warm and healthy breakfast
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77.86% (3.00)
with eggs
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75.71% (3.00)
and bacon
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75.00% (3.00)
and god damn pancakes! I know they love pancakes!
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73.57% (3.00)
A story that will steal your girlfriend and take her out for dinner.
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72.14% (3.00)
That will make your grandma dance tango on the table.
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71.43% (3.00)
And last but not least that will blow you...
...
70.00% (3.00)
...r mind like no one else ever did.
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70.00% (3.00)
*making a disturbing sound of cleaning the throat
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68.57% (3.00)
So one day I have been on the way to P32X4D
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67.14% (3.00)
(that's the name of one of those designer planets
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67.14% (3.00)
that they used to create near my galaxy...
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66.43% (3.00)
basically like a normal planet but just a bit more colorful...
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65.00% (3.00)
like when you pee in the snow and you realize that...
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64.29% (3.00)
well I guess you got the point here.)
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64.29% (3.00)
Where was I.... Oh yeah... P32X4D was one of those...
...
64.29% (3.00)
A nice place, with chicks everywhere and party all night long...
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64.29% (3.00)
and damn, the nights there last for 3 and a half years...
...
64.29% (3.00)
so you have plenty of time to go crazy before...
...
64.29% (3.00)
you have to go back to work on freaking Monday.
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64.29% (3.00)
Basically what I am saying is, it was the best
...
64.29% (3.00)
7 year long party weekend I ever had.
...
63.57% (3.00)
And everything started as I went to a proton bar...
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62.86% (3.00)
just to get some positive vibes.
...
61.43% (3.00)
There was a dude. He looked me in the face and said:
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60.71% (4.00)
Arrrrgsdh dsadawehasj sad sasdjsda sdsawd!
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60.00% (4.00)
My implemented toogle-translator-micro-chip translated:
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60.00% (4.00)
Yuu luuk like sumeone whu needs sum fun.
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60.00% (4.00)
(The translator chip does actually simulate the accent as well.)
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60.00% (4.00)
He continued to tell me about that party planet and told me
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60.00% (4.00)
that I could go with him to that awesome place...
...
60.00% (4.00)
if I would just do him 1 little favor. Just 1 little favor.
...
59.29% (4.00)
I really wasn't the party guy and just came out of a very
...
58.57% (4.00)
unsatisfying relationship with Squirman.
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58.57% (4.00)
(Half squirrel half human )
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58.57% (4.00)
Anyhow he kept talking and seemingly ignored whatever I said
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58.57% (4.00)
In the end, I was willing to do him one little favor...
...
58.57% (4.00)
just to make him shut up.
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58.57% (4.00)
The favor turned out to be not such a big deal.
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57.86% (4.00)
All I had to do was to walk into an old house
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57.86% (4.00)
take a flower that was placed conveniently
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57.86% (4.00)
in the middle of the room
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57.86% (4.00)
and deliver the flower to the guy.
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57.86% (4.00)
Afterwards, we had the already mentioned party weekend.
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57.86% (4.00)
After having a hangover on Monday night...
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57.86% (4.00)
which of course also lasted for 3 and a half years
...
57.14% (4.00)
I decided...
...
57.14% (4.00)
to finally leave the party planned and become...
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57.14% (4.00)
a respectable human being.
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57.14% (4.00)
Probably I am the last human that lives in this galaxy.
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57.14% (4.00)
Most of us got extinct because of the intergalactic flue
...
57.14% (4.00)
the last survivors escaped to other galaxies...
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57.14% (4.00)
sadly the spaceship that they used to escape
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57.14% (4.00)
was hit by an asteroid shower and got totally demolished.
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57.14% (4.00)
Basically, everyone died.
...
57.14% (4.00)
I, on the other hand, was unable to find my underwear
...
57.14% (4.00)
which resulted in me being late, like always.
...
57.14% (4.00)
Therefore the spaceship left without me
...
56.43% (4.00)
Which now results in me being the only human being alive.
...
56.43% (4.00)
Anyhow, so I decided to leave the party planet...
...
56.43% (4.00)
on my way through the departure gate, a policeman stopped me.
...
56.43% (4.00)
You... Stop you... he said.
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56.43% (4.00)
I stopped.
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56.43% (4.00)
You... Come with me you... he said.
...
56.43% (4.00)
He was a huge firefly-like being.
...
56.43% (4.00)
Instead of wings, he seemed to have something like...
...
56.43% (4.00)
laser beams.
...
56.43% (4.00)
I looked at his face...
...
55.71% (4.00)
He seemed serious...
...
55.71% (4.00)
Then I looked at his laser-beam-wings
...
55.71% (4.00)
Those seemed dangerous and kept pulsating,
...
55.71% (4.00)
I then looked back at his face...
...
55.00% (4.00)
He no seemed angry about my hesitation.
...
55.00% (4.00)
His laser beam wings smoothly changed into a dangerous red color.
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55.00% (4.00)
I opened my mouth, then closed it again and started
...
55.00% (4.00)
to follow him without saying anything.
...
55.00% (4.00)
He guided me through many dark corridors
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55.00% (4.00)
and finally stopped at the last door...
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54.29% (4.00)
in the very darkest of all corners.
...
53.57% (4.00)
We entered the room and I was asked to sit down on a small chair.
...
53.57% (4.00)
The room was built out of metal and was barely big enough
...
53.57% (4.00)
for the two of us to fit in.
...
53.57% (4.00)
Inside of the room was the small chair that I was supposed
...
53.57% (4.00)
the huge police-man-ish creature sat on.
...
52.86% (4.00)
So, now you... what is your deal you?, he said.
...
52.86% (4.00)
You seem to be a human, you...
...
52.86% (4.00)
Like the human race you. Like the race that got extinct you.
...
52.86% (4.00)
"Something terrible has happened. The queen of P32X4D was stolen you."
...
52.86% (4.00)
The queen was loved by everyone.
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52.86% (4.00)
She was a woman of the public and a supporter of the poor.
...
52.86% (4.00)
A great flower who even though she was a queen
...
52.86% (4.00)
lived in a small house, like she was poor.
...
52.86% (4.00)
And yes, she was actually a flower.
...
52.86% (4.00)
Even though she lived in a small house she had a very advanced
...
52.86% (4.00)
security system.
...
52.86% (4.00)
It basically froze everything
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52.86% (4.00)
that entered the house and was not made out of
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52.86% (4.00)
at least 60% water.
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52.86% (4.00)
It was designed like this to make sure that the queen,
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52.86% (4.00)
which again was a flower, got enough water to live.
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52.86% (4.00)
All the intelligent living beings in the whole galaxy
...
52.86% (4.00)
have been made out of a maximum of 40% water,
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52.14% (4.00)
which means that the humans have been the only race
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52.14% (4.00)
which would have been able to enter the house of the queen,
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52.14% (4.00)
Well before they got extinct I mean.
...
52.14% (4.00)
While I was listening to what happened
...
52.14% (4.00)
my head started hurting.
...
52.14% (4.00)
I knew a certain human who did recently enter a small house
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52.14% (4.00)
and kind of took a flower with him.
...
52.14% (4.00)
But who would have known that a simple flower
...
52.14% (4.00)
in a small house, would be the beloved queen of a whole planet.
...
52.14% (4.00)
The police-bug has been watching me while he told me all of this.
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52.14% (4.00)
He now looked deeply into my eyes and said
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52.14% (4.00)
with a very serious and almost threatening tone:
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52.14% (4.00)
WILL YOU HELP US... YOU?
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52.14% (4.00)
I replied
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52.14% (4.00)
Ohm... Excuse me?
...
52.14% (4.00)
WILL YOU HELP US... YOU?
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52.14% (4.00)
He repeated.
...
52.14% (4.00)
No I mean I already understood you. But help you with what?
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52.14% (4.00)
Oh was that not obvious you? We need to find the human...
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52.14% (4.00)
who stole the queen of our lovely planet.
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52.14% (4.00)
You are a human, aren't you you?
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52.14% (4.00)
So you should know what a human thief is thinking.
...
52.14% (4.00)
You will be from great benefit in finding the evil thief.
...
52.14% (4.00)
I stared in his bug buggy eyes...
...
52.14% (4.00)
I was unsure how to respond to this
...
52.14% (4.00)
So I decided to simply stare at him and act like I was frozen.
...
52.14% (4.00)
(Yes that was an active decision and
...
52.14% (4.00)
not just because I was confused and didn't know what to do.)
...
52.14% (4.00)
Suddenly the police-bug jumped off his chair...
...
52.14% (4.00)
SUPER YOU! We are glad to have you on our side you
...
52.14% (4.00)
Prepare for launch you!!!
...
52.14% (4.00)
Before I even could do anything
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52.14% (4.00)
the small chair launched into the air.
...
52.14% (4.00)
A small hole did open up in the seeling
...
52.14% (4.00)
and I was shooting through a whole system of pipes
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52.14% (4.00)
Everything was so fast that I must have lost conscience.
...
52.14% (4.00)
As I woke up I was staring a sky full of stars.
...
52.14% (4.00)
So many stars...
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52.14% (4.00)
Basically only stars...
...
52.14% (4.00)
Wherever I was looking I could see only stars...
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52.14% (4.00)
What was going on? Where was I?
...
52.14% (4.00)
was I floating in space?
...
52.14% (4.00)
As I became aware of my situation
...
52.14% (4.00)
slowly a spaceship was fading in around me...
...
52.14% (4.00)
I remembered that there are spaceships like this
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52.14% (4.00)
If the pilot falls asleep they will go into invisibility mode
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52.14% (4.00)
this is supposed to protect them from enemies
...
52.14% (4.00)
while the pilot is not able to react...
...
52.14% (4.00)
however, I didn't imagine, that they would actually turn invisible
...
52.14% (4.00)
for the pilot as well.
...
52.14% (4.00)
Welcome to flight XOXO.
...
52.14% (4.00)
Said a voice from a loudspeaker.
...
52.14% (4.00)
We are happy to have you with us.
...
52.14% (4.00)
Your goal is to find the queen.
...
52.14% (4.00)
We do track your position continuously
...
52.14% (4.00)
so whenever you find her we will be there to rescue her.
...
52.14% (4.00)
We wish you good luck, captain.
...
52.14% (4.00)
We will be waiting for your results.
...
52.14% (4.00)
With that, the cracking voice from the loudspeaker was gone.
...
52.14% (4.00)
I was all alone.
...
52.14% (4.00)
I looked at the controls of the spaceship
...
52.14% (4.00)
and recognized that those were surprisingly simple.
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52.14% (4.00)
It basically only consisted of a joystick
...
52.14% (4.00)
obviously to control the movement of my spaceship
...
52.14% (4.00)
A big red button which was labeled with fire.
...
52.14% (4.00)
And a big green button which had a sticky mark on it.
...
52.14% (4.00)
"Press in case that you found the queen. BUT ONLY THEN!!!, it said."
...
52.14% (4.00)
My head started hurting again.
...
52.14% (4.00)
How did I come into this situation?
...
52.14% (4.00)
I did never fly a spaceship before.
...
52.14% (4.00)
I actually have barely ever been in one...
...
52.14% (4.00)
I was not the flying type
...
52.14% (4.00)
and preferred the comfort of teleportation
...
52.14% (4.00)
I mean how was I supposed to find a flower
...
52.14% (4.00)
which was somewhere in the universe
...
52.14% (4.00)
and basically got stolen by myself.
...
52.14% (4.00)
I decided it was best to take a short nap.
...
52.14% (4.00)
Too much thinking always got me tired
...
52.14% (4.00)
and there was nothing I could do in this situation anyway.
...
52.14% (4.00)
Do you really think it is the time to sleep, Sir
...
52.14% (4.00)
Asked a really polite voice.
...
52.14% (4.00)
What? Who said that?
...
52.14% (4.00)
It is me, my good Sir. Your board computer.
...
52.14% (4.00)
How can I be useful today?
...
51.43% (4.00)
I scratched my head...
...
51.43% (4.00)
Hopefully, it wasn't one of those models that kept asking
...
51.43% (4.00)
useless question forever...
...
51.43% (4.00)
I... I am supposed to find a flower... a queen... a flower queen
...
51.43% (4.00)
The reply was very short.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Scanning...
...
51.43% (4.00)
Then there was silence again...
...
51.43% (4.00)
...
...
51.43% (4.00)
...
...
51.43% (4.00)
...
...
51.43% (4.00)
Are you still there?
...
51.43% (4.00)
...
...
51.43% (4.00)
...
...
51.43% (4.00)
Hello?
...
51.43% (4.00)
What is happening?
...
51.43% (4.00)
...
...
51.43% (4.00)
A little snoring was filling the air.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Did the board computer just fall asleep?
...
51.43% (4.00)
Computer! Wake up. What is wrong with you.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Oh excuse me, dear Sir.
...
51.43% (4.00)
So I fell asleep once I finished my task
...
51.43% (4.00)
Anyhow, I have found what you are looking for.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Would you like to take the direct route?
...
51.43% (4.00)
That was easy, I thought by myself.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Then I told the board computer to take the direct route
...
51.43% (4.00)
and to make me a nice fresh coffee.
...
51.43% (4.00)
The coffee turned out to be a mistake
...
51.43% (4.00)
as it almost killed me
...
51.43% (4.00)
because it got teleported directly into my mouth.
...
51.43% (4.00)
I leaned back and watched the stars.
...
51.43% (4.00)
So small by yet so big.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Like little shining hopes in the endless void.
...
51.43% (4.00)
What a crazy world to be alive I thought by myself.
...
51.43% (4.00)
My thoughts got interrupted as the board computer announced.
...
51.43% (4.00)
We are getting visitors.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Seems like the evil empire of the asteroids is trying to stop us.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Suddenly an image of the party dude appeared
...
51.43% (4.00)
in front of my inner eye.
...
51.43% (4.00)
You seem to have figured out what happened.
...
51.43% (4.00)
I really didn't.
...
51.43% (4.00)
"Since you already know that I, the king of the asteroids, tricked you to bring me the flower queen"
...
51.43% (4.00)
I really didn't.
...
51.43% (4.00)
you will also know about my mighty army of asteroids."
...
51.43% (4.00)
I really didn't.
...
51.43% (4.00)
So better turn back now before they will crush you."
...
51.43% (4.00)
I really wanted.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Before I could even say something the board computer answered.
...
51.43% (4.00)
It is our duty to find the flower queen!
...
51.43% (4.00)
We will defeat your empire, so bring it on!
...
51.43% (4.00)
This sentence should later be known of the great declaration
...
51.43% (4.00)
of war by the very fearless mighty Captain Curtain
...
51.43% (4.00)
who single handily fought the whole empire of the asteroids.
...
51.43% (4.00)
The following war would be known
...
51.43% (4.00)
as the great 20-year asteroid showers.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Which that the near asteroid started flying in our direction.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Luckily my spaceship was on autopilot
...
51.43% (4.00)
and a very fast moving object that was hard to hit.
...
51.43% (4.00)
The board computer smoothly dodged the asteroids
...
51.43% (4.00)
and prepared to fight back.
...
51.43% (4.00)
It even found the time
...
51.43% (4.00)
to teleport some more coffee into my mouth.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Soon after that like a cuatrillon astroids showed up
...
51.43% (4.00)
and tried to crush my spaceship under their enormous weight.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Because the board computer apparently was an incredible
...
51.43% (4.00)
pilot they mostly didn't even come close to us.
...
51.43% (4.00)
It also worked in our favor that asteroids are huge
...
51.43% (4.00)
and very slow if it comes to changing the flight direction
...
51.43% (4.00)
which made it much more easy to dodge the asteroids.
...
51.43% (4.00)
My spaceship destroyed the asteroids 1 by 1 while dodging
...
51.43% (4.00)
Because of the shire size of the army
...
51.43% (4.00)
this took us around 20 years.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Here is a short summary of our war:
...
51.43% (4.00)
Asteroids approaching.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Dodge.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Shoot.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Asteroids approaching.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Dodge.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Shoot.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Asteroids approaching.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Dodge.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Shoot.
...
51.43% (4.00)
You get the idea.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Finally 20 years later I had developed a serious coffee addiction
...
51.43% (4.00)
and maybe haven't slept for 10 days because of the constant
...
51.43% (4.00)
coffee that was teleported in my mouth.
...
51.43% (4.00)
I thought I was hallucinating as I heard the words.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Well, that was easy. We are all done here, Sir.
...
51.43% (4.00)
I looked out of the window and was what later was known
...
51.43% (4.00)
as the great astroid graveyards of the great 20-year war.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Amazing... I said sarcastically.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Great to hear you are satisfied with m work, Sir.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Now we will get you the queen!
...
51.43% (4.00)
Without even waiting for my command the spaceship
...
51.43% (4.00)
Calculated the coordination of a planet and started moving again.
...
51.43% (4.00)
On the way the board computer
...
51.43% (4.00)
explained how he was able to generate energy out of
...
51.43% (4.00)
the potential existence of a molecule at a certain point
...
51.43% (4.00)
which also works if there is no molecule at that point because
...
51.43% (4.00)
the source of power was only the potential of its existence
...
51.43% (4.00)
but not the existence itself.
...
51.43% (4.00)
I really didn't listen at all.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Then the spaceship stopped.
...
51.43% (4.00)
It had moved so fast that I didn't even recognize
...
51.43% (4.00)
that there was a planet right in front of us.
...
51.43% (4.00)
The spaceship landed and I went out.
...
51.43% (4.00)
I looked around and saw an old man sitting on a bench.
...
51.43% (4.00)
As I came closer he started shouting...
...
51.43% (4.00)
Ut is you! Yuu whu dufeatud muy armuy.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Yuu whu ruined muy purfect plun uf tuking uver P32X4D.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Wull, guud fur yuu thut wu astruid peuple
...
51.43% (4.00)
cun nut be ungry ut ull. Therefure U forguv yuu.
...
51.43% (4.00)
Nuw, sunce yuu ure hure and U huve nuthing butter tuu duu...
...
51.43% (4.00)
Huw ubuut u luttle partuy weeund un P32X4D?
...
51.43% (4.00)
U du still rumember thu lust une... ut wus crazuy!
...
51.43% (4.00)
Besides our differences,
...
51.43% (4.00)
After being trapped in a spaceship for 20 years
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51.43% (4.00)
that was just what I needed at this moment.
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51.43% (4.00)
And we took off to another adventure...
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51.43% (4.00)
Tutorial Done!
Well that wasn't too difficult.
100.00% (2.00)