Get knocked on the head and remember how you got here.

Save the rookie. Find Father Mikhail. See the sights.

Get together with your friends and kill something big.

Die HAARP With A Vengeance.

Run away from an angry volcano you foolishly antagonized.

Head into Rome. Ditch Rodriguez.

Party like it's 199.

Meet a powerful granny.

Ride the Popemobile to victory.

Don't fear the reaper. Be the reaper.

Cross the French countryside and get very cross.

What if you could talk to the monsters?

Navigate the citadel of Carcassonne. Start reassembling your team.

Get justice. Get the Holy Grail. Get screwed over.

Escape the Oil Rig.

Send Mental a message he won't forget.

Beat the game on any difficulty.

Unlock 10 S.A.M.s in a single playthrough.

Destroy 10 propaganda drones.

One-shot kill 3 Werebulls with a shotgun.

Melee a big enemy.

Kill 5 enemies during a single Time Warp slowdown.

Use the mininuke to eliminate 100 enemies at once.

Kill 100 enemies with a headshot.

Kill an Aludran Reptiloid using nothing but a pistol.

Kill a Belcher using Belcher collateral barf damage.

Kill 11 different enemies using melee attacks.

Kill 50 healthy Kleers with a direct double shotgun hit.

Make 20 enemies kill each other using Psychotropic Grenades.

Spend 1000 minigun rounds while firing continuously.

Harvest 100 enemies with a combine harvester.

Kill 5 enemies in a row while your health is below 10 HP.

Kill 3 enemies with a double shotgun blast.

Unlock a S.A.M.

Kill a Witchbride using C4.

Kill 20 enemies while dual wielding double shotguns.

Dismember 50 enemies with cannonballs.

Fight alongside Massimo Murena.

Recover a key stolen by a cultist.

Find out what happened to Alessandro.

Recover the alien artifact located by Dr. Stein.

Collect scorched aliens for Professor Kiesel.

Get a weaponized black hole, using science.

Sign Secchi's rifle.

Assist Dr. Vermetti in his war on worms.

Make sure Gabriella is OK.

Find out what happened to the English airman.

Assist a couple of young ladies out hunting.

Discover Fulbert's great invention.

Protect humanity's treasures from invaders with no taste.

Achievement is your middle name.

Save a princess. Doesn't get more classic than that.

Go on a date with Hellfire.

Finish a text adventure. On an oil rig. During an alien invasion.