Clean any map adequately

Get the Employee of the Month reward for your office

Get fired!

Spill 100 dirty buckets

Incinerate 2000 items

Mop up 10,000 splats

Get eaten

Pick up 800 casings

Pick up 1000 pieces of trash

Speedrun a map with at least %25 par time to spare

Track over 20,000 footprints

Blow up a fellow worker with the help of an ominously bright-red explosive charge

Receive a total of 35 helping hands from the Slosh-O-Matic

Suffer the wrath of the Bin machine 75 times

Restock a total of 50 medkits over your cleaning career by punching out of levels with medkits

Use the Sniffer for a total of 2 hours

Throw 100 items into sand traps

Fry 500 items with the plasma welder

Complete Athena's Wrath Level

Complete Caduceus Level

Complete Cryogenesis Level

Complete Unearthly Excavation Level

Complete Hydroponic Hell Level

Complete Evil Science Level

Complete Paintenance Level

Complete Waste Disposal Level

Complete Unrefinery Level

Complete All major Official Levels

Take a lit flare from a fellow Janitor

Complete Gravity Drive Level

Tame the uncontrollable fury of the Big Banger by incinerating it

Cleanup your own personal Office by removing any Trash, Viscera and Blood; excluding trophies, then leave

Receive 12 Employee of the Month awards

Steal 30 or more Personal Identification Devices (P.I.Ds) from cleaned levels and take them to your office

Take the Big Banger Supernova out of Unearthly Excavation and into another work-site and turn it on

Turn off the Big Banger while it's playing loudly(keep your music volume up too) in zero-gravity during a Solo game

Transfer a Goo-Jar to another work-site and infect something

Collect a head from each species in cleaned levels and take them to your office

Complete Revolutionary Robotics Level

Complete Overgrowth Level

Find Bob

Unlock Bob's super secret secret stash room

Find all the unique and hidden collectibles and return them to your office

Find all the hidden painted eggs and return them to your office

Get consumed by an inter-dimensional crack in space-time

Collect the chainsaw, boomstick, cursed hand and the evil book and return them to your office

Collect the mask and machete and return them to your office

Collect the clawed glove and return it to your office

Collect the white mask and butcher knife and return them to your office

Collect the axe and return it to your office

Collect the ring and return it to your office

Clean the entire House of Horror level

Destroy the Bad Banger

Destroy 200 items in the woodchipper

Completely clean all mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off

Completely clean Santa's Workshop without breaking any Christmas items and clock off

Completely clean all mess and destroy every item in Santa's Workshop and clock off

Prove your incompetence by leaving a worse mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off

Collect Santa's shotgun and bring it back to your office

Collect the iconic reindeer nose and bring it back to your office

Collect the different Rooks Keep figurines and take them back to your office

Collect the different Ballistic Weapons toys and bring them back to your office

Requisition a new replacement janitor through the use of TNT

Collect elf heads and bring them back to your office, you freakin' psycho!

Incinerate 50 Santa hats, the symbol of everything you hate

Build a stack of 10 stools

Bring about the sad meeting of Ice-Cold Banger and fire

Complete Frostbite Level

Complete Incubation Emergency Level

Completely clean the entire Shadow Warrior temple level

Collect the two million dollars of cold hard cash from the Shadow Warrior level all at once and bring it back to your office

Complete Uprinsing Level

Complete Core Sample Level

Complete Pestilent Penitentiary Level

Complete Penumbra Level

Find all the unique Collectibles in the Vulcan Affair and return them to your office

Clean the entire Vulcan Affair level

Bring about the unfortunate meeting of Double-Oh Banger and Shark

Go for a swim with Sharks

Feed the ever hungry Sharks 500 items they can either devour or destroy

Foolishly activate the Death Ray

Lock another player inside a holding cell where they belong

Get turned into mist by an orbital beam weapon

Using an orbital beam weapon, destroy the symbol of your most hated overlord; cats!

Allow the Banger to ascend to its rightful place among the heavens through the use of an orbital beam weapon